A broken promise
by Wickedwitch90
Summary: Tom Riddle did know love once. He lost his heart to Bellatrix Black, but fate let them grow apart. Many years later they confront each other with certain feelings that somehow never disappeared.


_I don't own the characters, J.K. Rowling does. I only own the majority of the plot._

_Many thanks to Livvie for betareading.

* * *

_**A broken promise**

Tonight Bellatrix Black would attend the first meeting of people who sympathized with Tom Riddle's ideals. Together with her parents she was about to visit his manor on the countryside.

She didn't want to go, because she wouldn't know how Tom would react if he'd see her. They both had been at Hogwarts; in Slytherin of course. Many nights she watched him brooding in the common room, sitting alone. How often she wished she had the guts just to sit down next to him, to talk to him. She never did. And she still regretted it.

She had expected the butterflies in her belly would disappear, but that never happened. She hadn't seen Tom since he left Hogwarts, five years ago, but she never stopped thinking and dreaming about him, and even longing for him. The time didn't heal the whole in her heart where his quiet presence at school had been; it had only made it worse.

Out of nowhere the invitation for this evening had come, meant for the upper class of the pureblood society.

And there she found herself a week later: standing in front of Tom, hiding behind her father. Tom greeted his guests polite but briefly. After he had welcomed Bellatrix parents however, he spotted Bellatrix. Time seemed to stop for a moment when they looked at each other.  
"My dearest Miss Black," he said delighted, "what a pleasure."

Only much later she realized he had remembered her name; at that moment she was totally lost. He brought her hand to his lips; when he kissed her knuckles she shuddered.

"I'm very honored you are here, Bellatrix," he said.

The guests who were in the queue behind here got a little bit restless because of the attention he paid to the girl. After a last glance at him she walked to her parents, who pretended not to have noticed the encounter.

During the meeting she hardly heard what he said; all she could do was staring at him, just like she had done years before at school. The only difference was that his gaze met hers every once and a while, each time lingering a little longer.

After the business had been discussed, the official meeting was over and the socializing part of the evening began. Tom's house elves apparated and offered everybody something to eat and to drink. Tom wasn't in the middle of the attention anymore and when everybody was entertaining themselves and didn't focus on him anymore, he walked towards Bellatrix, who was sitting by herself near the fireplace.

"Bellatrix… do you remember me?" he asked.

"Of course I do," she replied a little shyly.

He smiled, the first time that evening.

"Can I sit next to you?"

She nodded, smiling as well, and moved aside so he could sit down next to her.

"This is the first time I ever speak to you," he said. "Do you know that?"

"I do," she answered. "After all those years. I didn't think it would ever happen."

"You make it sound like you regret it."

"I do," she said again.

"Why did you never talk to me at school, if you wanted us to talk?"

"I didn't dare to," she admitted. "You were always sitting alone, lost in thought, like you were thinking of very important things and didn't want to be bothered. You never looked at me, not a single time."

"So you think I didn't like you, didn't notice you… that I still don't?"

"Yes… I used to think that," she said, staring to the ground.

"Did that hurt you?"

She nodded, unable to speak.

"It still does," she finally managed to stay, still avoiding looking him in the eyes.

"Why did you never tell me?" he said, almost inaudible.

She couldn't answer, realizing that he had been paying attention to her after all, and that he seemed to think the same way about her.

"Bella… what's wrong?" he asked concerned when she didn't react.

"It's nothing," she said with difficulty. "It's just…"

His worry for her was too much after all those years she was treated with indifference.

She started to sob, feeling confused and exposed. When he put his arms around her and hugged her tightly, she couldn't stop herself anymore. She was ashamed of it, crying at this age when she wasn't alone, but he didn't seem to mind. He just held her and hushed her.

"I just can't believe it,' she finally managed to speak. "All those years… I thought…"

"I know," he whispered. "I know. I just couldn't imagine you'd ever notice me. I couldn't imagine anybody would notice me… let alone someone so special like you. The friends I had weren't real friends; they were just afraid of me and didn't dare ignore me. You were so different. Independent and… beautiful."

"I'm not beautiful," she objected. "I'm just me. Normal."

"How can you possible say that?" he asked shocked. 'Let me look at you."

He let her go, and scrutinized her for minutes.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he finally said, while wiping the tears from her face. "You've always been. Did you never notice all those boys staring at you, with their mouths wide open? Especially that Lestrange boy."

"Who?" she asked.  
"Lestrange. He was in your year."

"I can't remember him. Really!" she said when she saw the look on his face. "You're the only one I remember. You're the only one worth remembering."

He smiled, and for a few moments he looked like the handsome teenager he had never really been.

"Bella… I realize… I don't know you at all. Please tell me about yourself."

"What do you want to hear?"  
"Everything you want to share."

They talked for hours and hours. Tom was listening intensely, like always reluctant to reveal anything about himself, but during the conversation with Bellatrix he lost something of his shyness and told her more about himself than he'd ever done and would do. His eyes were constantly focused on her, enjoying every part of her being.

Finally they were so lost in each other's eyes that they didn't talk anymore. The power she had over him scared Tom, and he broke the eye contact with difficulty. It made her feel uncertain and she sat back in the chair restless.

"Do you want to go home?" he asked.

"No," she said, "but I'd like to go outside for a while. I feel a bit dizzy."

He helped her up friendly, and walked her to the backdoor of his manor. He opened it, and let her go through it first.

It was completely dark outside. Tom mumbled a spell, and seconds later the entire backyard was filled with light from lanterns which were carried by angelic little statues that Tom had hexed in such a way they would fly around them. Bella's jaw dropped in awe, and Tom smiled when he saw the amazed look on her face. He gently pushed her forwards, wanting her to show much more.

His garden was absolutely wonderful; every step was a step into a new adventure it seemed: every corner offered exciting new views in the candlelight; and Bellatrix smelled the most exquisite flowers. When she thought the garden couldn't become more overwhelming, she saw a large pond with a fountain and a little waterfall. Bellatrix stared at it, thinking it couldn't be real.

"Is this a dream?" she asked bewildered. "Everything is so beautiful."

"There is only one thing truly beautiful here," Tom said, giving her a single rose. "And she seems like a dream indeed."

He guided her to a seat made out of a fallen tree, and sat down next to her. With a wave from his wand the lights from the statues' lanterns faded away. The only light came from the moon, which was now visible between the clouds. It produced a small area of silver on the earth, and Bellatrix and Tom were in the middle of it.

"Bella, there are no words to describe what I feel," Tom whispered.

She looked at him, in those eyes, which seemed to reach to her soul. When she caressed his cheek, he closed his eyes, overwhelmed by the unknown feelings in his body and mind. Carefully he reached out his hands to touch her hair, enjoying the softness and beauty of it. His fingers traced the line of her face from her forehead to her neck. Her longing sigh when his long fingers touched her lips surprised them both. He cupped her face with both his hands and tenderly put his lips against hers. For a few seconds she was too surprised to react, but then she kissed him back. When he felt that he deepened the kiss, his hand wandering over her back.

When they finally let go, they stared each other in the eye for what felt like an eternity.

Tom wondered how that unfamiliar sensation in his system could be caused by one single person; and Bellatrix still couldn't believe that what she had dreamed about for years finally was happening. But they both knew they didn't want to live on without the other.

"Promise me it'll always be like this," Tom whispered.

"I promise," she said just as softly before she kissed him again.

The moon hid behind the clouds, but they were so lost in their stolen moment that they didn't notice anything except for one another.

---------- 20 years later ----------

She was sitting on a large stone and stared into the distance. Her bare feet touched the water of the lake beneath her. Behind her she heard some noise in the bushes. She knew who it was. She wouldn't be so off guard if he wasn't around.

"What are you thinking of?" Lord Voldemort asked.

"About us," Bellatrix Lestrange replied.

"There is no us," Voldemort answered.

"There used to be."

"Used to be."

They both didn't know what to say. The silence was awkward, to Bellatrix it felt like the feeling she had when she was about to meet Tom at his manor after the five years she hadn't seen him.

"I know what you're thinking of," he said at last, sounding irritated and maybe a little sad as well.

"How couldn't I?" she asked. "The situation is very much alike."

"Don't say that," he hissed. "It's too long ago."

"Why can't I say it? I'm just thinking about it."

"Don't do that," he snapped. "It won't help you."

"You speak like you experienced that yourself," she said sarcastically, not expecting anything else from the heartless bastard the man she'd loved had seemed to become. The look he gave her told a different story. Very different.

"My Lord,' she asked both surprised and hopeful.

"When did you stop saying Tom to me?"

"Well… that must've been when I married. It would've been improper."

He laughed embittered.

"Improper? Bellatrix… I don't believe that. Like you care! After that evening… after that kiss… you just went home and never got back. You have you any idea what it did to me? For the first time in my life there was someone who cared for me… I even thought you loved me for a while… how stupid I was to think that…"

"Stop it!" she shouted, enable to bear the reproaches.

"Do you think it was easy for me? It was the happiest evening of my life. But when I got home... my parents… They just knew it. You are extremely fanatical for the purebloods but you'll never know what it really means to be one. They forbade me to see you, Tom. I should've run away, just like Andromeda. But they made it so hard for her... even you did. You encouraged us to kill her… and did you think I married Lestrange for my own pleasure? Well think again! Every time he touched me I had to think it was you, otherwise I'd…"

He pulled her on her feet and pushed her against a rock. Her scream was muted by his mouth, which slammed down on hers. He kissed her roughly, showing her all his anger and longing. She kissed him back with the same passion, enjoying the way he both hurt and caressed her. They only stopped kissing when they had to because of the lack of air. Breathing heavily they stared at each other, shocked and uncertain.

"I missed you, Tom. I missed you every single second we weren't together."

"And I waited for you Bella. Without hope, but… I waited. Just like we did at school."

"I thought you didn't care for me anymore, that I was just a plaything."

"Bella… how can you possible think that? After what we've been through?

"After that evening, you never contacted me again. I thought you didn't want me around you anymore after I gave you that."

"You ignored me and a few weeks later I heard of an engagement between a certain Miss Black and Mr. Lestrange."

"Do you want to know why I married Rudolphus? He wanted to become a Death Eater, and if I'd be his wife I'd probably become one as well. It was the only way, can't you see? Did you never notice my parents didn't wanted to be associated with you anymore after that single evening? There wasn't any other way for me to continue seeing you. If I wouldn't have spent time with you – though I was a servant and another man's wife – I'm not sure I could've stand it.

He started to realize things were completely different then he'd thought them to be.

"Forgive me my reaction," he said. "Especially the last part."

She grinned despite the situation.

"No need to apologize for that."

"Did I hurt you?"

"A little. But it doesn't matter. I think I deserved it."

"No, you didn't.

"I shouldn't have been so blind. That night you made pretty clear what I meant to you. I shouldn't have doubt that."  
"It's okay," she said while sitting down again. "It doesn't matter anymore."  
His face hardened, but his heart seemed to stop beating.

"Tom? What's wrong?"

"Why doesn't it matter anymore?"

"It's so long ago. We were kids. Things have changed. That promise… it was so silly."

He sat down as well, his back facing her. "We weren't kids, Bella. We were in our twenties. It meant something. It was very important to me. Your behavior suggests you do regret we aren't together, but your words say the opposite. Why did you make the promise when you didn't intend to keep it?"

"It didn't want to break it," she said, choosing her words carefully. "It was the only promise I ever broke. And the only one I ever made. It was the most special thing you could've done… asking me that. I regret it very much I broke it. But back then it couldn't have done any other way. I'm only trying to protect myself. And you. I can't afford it to give me or you hope again. I've been crying for weeks when my parents told me they didn't want us to be together. You know how they are. We couldn't challenge them. You weren't as powerful yet as you were later. They could've stopped you. They could've killed you if they really would've wanted. That would've been awful. Believe me… if I would've run away with you…"

"I'm sorry Bella… If I would've known, I'd come to get you. If I hadn't thought you were happy with your… husband" he struggled to say the word. "I considered breaking your wedding, or kidnapping you."

"I would've liked that," she said, while smiling sadly. "I was thinking of killing them… would you've liked that?"

"I think so. If you'd come back to me after that."

"I actually considered, but I thought it wouldn't make a difference. Otherwise I'd have done it."

The way she said it, told him she was serious about it.

"And they say I'm heartless..."  
"Tom, was that actually a joke?"

"Like I said I'm not as bad as people seem to think."

"You don't have to tell me. I know."

"That's why I like you so much," Voldemort said, serious again.

Stars appeared on the horizon, and coldness crept upwards from the lake. Bellatrix, who was only wearing a black dress, shivered. Voldemort noticed. He doubted for a few seconds, but then put his cloak around her shoulders. She didn't make any movement to hold the coat to prevent it to fall to the ground, so he held it instead. To be able to do so he sat down behind her and let his hands rest on her shoulders, holding the fabric in place.

His body hadn't recovered yet from the kiss, and being so close to her wasn't really helping. He gently brushed her hair away from her neck and kissed the exposed skin. She sighed, allowing him to continue.

"I miss you, Tom. I miss you so much. Why can't it be like this? Just you and me."

"It could've been. But I guess there were things that drove us apart."

"It feels exactly the same," she muttered.

"It could stay like this."  
"No, Tom. I'm tired of fighting, of being disappointed time after time."  
"Why do you give up? This is not the woman I know."

"Then I don't think you really know me, Tom. I'm not as strong as I choose to show."

"If you would give me the change to know you…"

He let the cloak fall down, and shove the straps from her dress aside. He kissed her shoulder and teased her skin with his teeth, leaving imprints on it so that she groaned.

"Why can't you just be mine?" he asked between two kisses. "Don't say you don't want it, because I know you do."

"I do, but I don't want to give up the few things I do have for some things I can't have."

"What is it you do have, Bella?"

"A home. A family…"

"Your family who forbade you to be with me? A home… do you think I can't give you one? Do you remember my house were we really met?"

She could hardly think, both seduced by his words that sounded so promising, and his hands that were wandering over her body.

"And what is it you can't have?"

"A life with you. Without the war. After all those years, after Azkaban… I'm sick of it. I never wanted to be a Death Eater. I just joined because I desperately wanted to keep seeing you. But instead of being together with you I got involved in a war and become a wanted criminal. A war I didn't want to fight. You hated it we couldn't be together because you weren't a pure-blood, but you are fighting for the same kind of thing."

"So you suggest I just stop the war… and let Harry Potter live?"

"Yes."

"And then?"

"I think you know."

She brushed his lips against his.

"But… why? If you could wish anything… you know I can get you about anything you want. And all you wish is the end of the war? You sound like a…"

He couldn't bring himself to call her a mudblood, even if it was only as a comparison.

"Tom, you know that sooner or later one of us, or both of us, will be killed if this war continues. Don't deny it; you know it was well as I do."

"Do you know who you are talking to?!"

"Yes, I do… Tom."

His anger vanished when he saw the love for him in her dark brown eyes.

"If I'd do that… would you want to… be with me?"

She nodded, unable to hide a smile.

"Yes. But no more promises. Just show me. Show me that it isn't too late."

For the first time since that evening twenty years ago, his facial muscles produced something that actually looked like a smile. It remembered her of the feelings of hope she'd had that night. Knowing it could end differently this time, she kissed him.

He let himself drown in all her love and tenderness. When she let go and gasped for oxygen, something in him seemed to have changed back to how it was in a time he was capable of love and not everything was about hate and death.

He embraced her and held her tight. When they heard each other's breath and felt their hearts beat as one, they knew they were ready to try again.

THE END


End file.
